OK. Better late than never, huh? I mean it's February 29 [ed: And now it's March 23, thanks to
my additional laziness], and we took this trip back in October. I've been real busy though,
and... oh hell... I'm just lazy. Lazy like a [insert name of lazy ethnic group].
So we all woke up and we did have some eggs. The TV was on and one of those stupid-ass
Sunday-morning political wonk shows (Hardball, maybe) had Jesse Ventura. They were
bothering him about that Playboy interview, and Ventura wasn't taking any crap.
"You said 'If I could be reincarnated as a fabric, I would like to come back as a 38
double-D bra.'"
I guess he was supposed to apologize or do one of those "I was taken out context" things.
You gotta admire his complete disregard of press corps protocol.
We took our showers and bid our farewells, and it was off to Atlanta (lord how depressing).
We popped in a tape of The Code of the Woosters (Bernie and Jeeves) from the library and
headed down the highway. Not a whole hell of a lot happened, really. The book was funny;
Jeeves was flakin' and perpetratin'. We did stop at a tobacco outlet in Tennessee, where I
got a box of Fuentes [ed: I think they were Fuente Fuente Fuente Opus 11's]
and Graham finally got his Drum.
Things kind of started to suck ass on 85 in South Carolina. It got dark and wet, and there
were some wrecks, and the traffic got backed up a bunch. Graham was getting pretty pissed
off [ed: Damned accident victims!], and then we hit a big goddamned pothole outside a gas station. But there wasn't any
tire damage, so I guess it wasn't that big of a deal. Like I said, not a hell of a lot
happened, really. We got home without being mugged, raped, or killed, and my car was still
there [ed: As if anyone would steal the piece o' crap]. And then I got to back to work the next day! And I guess Graham went back to work at
some point. I don't know; it's Time-Warner, you know? They probably would have kept sending
him paychecks for three months even if he had never set foot in CNN center again.
We had a pretty damn good time. While our impeccable taste and unimpeachable judgement
were largely responsible for the success of the trip, without the following it would have
just been a bunch of driving.
We would like to thank the following towns for being cool, and for having cool things:
We would not like to thank these places and things because they sucked ass:
[ed: I would also like to thank Toyota for making such a great car ('89 Camry). It crossed the
rugged terrain as well as a Canyonaro, except with twice as many miles to the gallon.]
Here's a list of the music that eased the driving. Much thanks to all these cool people.
We were somewhere around Baltimore when the drugs began to wear off. I remember saying
something like "I feel pretty good.... I wouldn't mind having some eggs."
"Oh come on, because I'm governor of Minnesoooooota I can't have a sense of humor anymore?"
Acknowledgements
Extra special thanks to Scott for taking us to Fells Point, and for having the good sense
to live in Baltimore.